Apricot Jams
Audio journals about life's curious realizations + the occasional Interview.
Apricot Jams
iAccidentLawyer
00:00 So smart •
00:41 Gender assumption •
01:49 Nostalgia •
02:53 Loving themselves •
03:16 Circlejerk chamber •
04:02 Cow worship •
04:33 Genetic claustrophobia •
04:56 Son of a great man •
05:33 Fire worship •
05:58 Forgotten past •
06:30 Drawing vs streaming •
07:19 Hardest difficulty •
08:07 Spirals in the east •
08:54 Castle Hill • • •
Featured Music:
Hardkandy - Loose Ends •
David Cutter Music - Keep On •
Kupla - storyofus •
Hugo Kant - This Old Relaxation ( Remix from This Old Tune by Zé Mateo) •
Medeski Martin & Wood - The Lover (Live at Java Jazz Festiva 2012) •
Tom Misch - The Journey •
Zeelim - Kutiman •
KarmawiN - Bushido •
Lusine - Arterial • • •
Drawings:
www.instagram.com/_apricotjams •
Twitch:
www.twitch.tv/apricotjams •
Published: May 8, 2019 (2019-05-08) •
Software: Adobe Audition • •
www.apricotjamspodcast.com
© 2019 Apricot Jams. All rights reserved.
I saw a billboard the other day that said"iAccidentLawyers" and I almost pissed myself at how genius this was. These accident lawyer guys were so smart. They realized that the"i" was the reason why Apple was successful, just that one letter, not anything else, and they copied it. If it ain't broke don't fix it. Why couldn't I be this smart man. I knew I should've been iApricot. I accidentally assumed someone's gender the other day for the first time in my life. I was hiking with one of my buddies and we stopped to take a water break, you know, hanging out right by the trail. Then, what looks like a middle aged Mexican man is walking towards us. So I make eye contact and say hi. I like to do that when I'm hiking. It's nice. It feels good. So I go,"hey man", and I wave. Next thing I know, the most feminine voice comes out of this Mexican man and goes,"Hey... MAN" and I was like fuuuuuuuuuck. I immediately said"my bad", like my instincts kicked in and I said my bad, but it was too late. She was mad. But how was I supposed to know? The sky's blue and you look like a dude. I'm doing my best here. There aren't very many feelings in this world quite as chocolate and creamy as nostalgia. That warm and fuzzy feeling of remembering is something everyone can understand. No matter who you are, where you are, even if there's no word for it in your language, you know it feels good. It's almost like as we get older, our memories and experiences stack on top of themselves, like cake or a rubber band ball, just adding layers, burying those early ones real deep. Then when something happens where were forced to recall our memories, something magical happens. It's like we're sticking our hands through all those different layers, tickling our neurons and emotions reaching deep in there grabing that old one. It's real nice but makes it very easy to remember things much more fondly than how they actually happened. I don't really know what to make of this. I've been seeing a lot of married couples that look like each other. A lot of dogs that look like their owners. It's freaky. A lot of people just really loving themselves I guess.
:Circle jerks might seem like a good idea in theory. Everyone's getting some right? But no, they're not a good idea. It's a place where people sit around and agree with each other all day. It aint no good, you need people to disagree with you. You need people to challenge your ideas, or else it everyone thinks the same and they hate anyone who disagrees. From what I can tell, part of the reason why my marriage is working is because of how different my wife and I are. She flows with things no worries, while i worry about preventing bad things from happening, but it flip sides of the same coin. Can't have the light without some darkness.
Zareh:It makes a lot of sense why cows are worshiped in some religions. Cows are chill as fuck man. At least the female ones are, but you chop off the nuts of the bull and he's pretty chill too. And the milk thing too, you know, for a woman who can't breastfeed, you got a little bit of milk source right there. Better than no milk. Man. I knew I loved my daughter from the moment she squeezed out of my wife. Just like me, it was obvious that she also didn't like small cramped spaces. She appreciated not being in there anymore. And I was like, yeah, we can be cool. There've been a lot of stories throughout time and say things like"The son of a great man is not always a great man". It makes sense. I mean the great man is probably probably successful. Success brings wealth and wealth brings comfort and it's nice to be comfortable. When there's no struggle, there's no motivation for work for anything, but I don't blame him man. Why would you give a fuck about anything if you already have everything? The more I think about it the more worshiping fire makes a lot of sense. The pagans knew it, the lord of light people knew it. It cooks your food, gives you light, gives you warmth, you can use it as a weapon and it looks dope. I don't know about you but I'm convinced. What if all those really wild things in stories from, you know, just fantasy stuff actually existed, but it was all erased. When a fucking volcano. A super Volcano erupted or a comet hit the earth. You know, magic, Elves, Ogres, Giants, Vampires... Vampires are still around. They're just sexually frustrated people. Vampires are hungery for blood. These motherfuckers are just thirsty. There's been a huge difference between the community of art on Instagram and the community of streaming games on Twitch. Huge. The art community overall is pretty supportive. Pretty positive. They tell you good things. I honestly wish they were more critical cause I'd probably learn more. But it's nice because the twitch community is like literally the opposite. You just get shat on. Everyone's telling you what you're doing wrong. You're the butt of every joke. It kind of made me feel at home. I'm not going to lie, it reminded me of my parents. Nothing but criticism because you must always improve. If your body and mind can handle the punishment, I think you should always start at the hardest difficulty level. It's going to hurt. You're going to need to be able to take a beating, but hey, it's fastest way to grow. It's not what I did by the way or what I do ever. I like starting at the bottom. Shitsville. And just gradually learning and slowly making my way to the top. I'm honestly not smart enough to start on hard. I've had to accept that reality. Well, why would I do it anyway? It doesn't make sense, are you stupid? Oh, all that stuff I just said? Yeah, it's like 50% idealism and 50% talking out of my ass. So the sun rises in the east and sets in the West, which means we're spinning eastward cause that's where the sun pops out from. It's interesting how hurricanes also only happened on the east coast of continents. It's like we're spinning into the wind and creating this spiral. It's crazy. Like the energy has nowhere to go, so it just builds up and then goes Woosh and you're fucked... Oh no no wait, wait, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The earth is obviously flat, so it must just be the government who set up a bunch of really big fans somewhere over in the east. Thanks for listening. This episode is brought to you by Castle Rock. It's this arrangement of really large stones somewhere in New Zealand. I believe on the South Island, if I remember correctly. And being at this place was the closest thing I've ever had to a religious experience. I don't know what it was. I don't know if it was the way that sound was echoing. I don't know if it was the wind. We were there as the sun was going down. It was just me and my wife Dee and holy fuck things I felt from being in this place. I don't even know. All I know is I got to go back someday. It's the only place in the world that I know I will return to at some point in my life. Or at least I would try my hardest. And that was not an ad. That was a just an experience that I had, but I really wanted to share with you guys and I say it was brought to you by it because it was. Without an experience that intense, you know, we all need to have those weird wild feeling sometimes that don't make any sense. I probably wouldn't be making this podcast. Anyway. You can find my drawings on Instagram. I'm about to start posting youtube tutorials for drawing. I stream on twitch sometimes and uh, yeah, see you guys soon.