There really is no such thing as talent, it doesn't exist. People like to use that word to describe other people who are good at stuff. But there is a problem with that word because it also kind of implies that they were born with it, but they weren't. People aren't born with skill, they're born into a set of circumstances that allow for certain things to happen. I was born with a weird name, funny looking face and below average height so while everyone else was being cool hanging out and socializing, I was sitting around drawing, that's not talent. That's a curse that I've figured out how to use to my advantage. I just got back from the grocery store and I saw this little girl, and she must have been about four years old, with the most incredible uni-brow. It wasn't even like a patch... it was one eyebrow. My heart was broken. I was so sad for this girl, and of course my ignorant ass gut instinct was like,"What kind of mother would do this to their child?" but then once my brain started warming up and rational thought started flowing through and I was like, hold on a second. First off, the only people that are going to be mean to this cute little girl are other little girls and fuck grade school for that one little quality. Really though, if this girl can survive this, and it doesn't break her spirit, she's going to come out the other end as one of the dopest chicks ever cause it'll balance her out. She will be grounded and down to earth because what makes someone a weird is being pretty for too long. Thinking that the whole world is nice when it's not... And no amount of plastic surgery can fix that. My daughter just turned one and she is already way cooler than I've ever been my entire fucking life. I put on jazz and she sits there with her finger on her chin nodding her head like"Oh yeah, yeah. I'm appreciating the Tambour of the Baritone Sax." Get outta here dude. Stop posing. But seeing this, it puts this thing in me where that is like, I know I have to Goldilocks the shit out of this kid as far as protection goes. You don't want to do too much and you don't want to do too little. It's gotta be just right. Too much protection in the kid is useless. They fucking need you for everything. Too little and they will kill themselves by something falling on their head. So yeah, I got to keep it in the middle, but it's scary, man. I don't know what I'm doing. It's my first time and I don't know where to draw the lines, but that's the challenge. Figuring out where the fuck to draw them. The latest life hack, thanks to technology, is the soft goodbye. You're done typing or you get busy all of a sudden, all you gotta do is"like" the last message. It's a simple and easy way to say that, hey, I'm busy. Good bye... for now. In all honesty, I really, really wish I could cry. I've tried, but it just doesn't happen. I think I'm physically incapable. The same way that laughter is a huge release, so is crying. So I wish I could do it. It's a great way to heal weird mental things that are going on. But the only times I ever end up crying is when I'm watching fucking movies, lightly roasted. It's almost like it's a gift given to the feminine, to the, you know, life-giving woman. The mother earth is a mother too though. Earth is feminine. Earth creates tons of life. That's why they call her that, and she has the ability to cry as well. She just cries in crazy ass ways. She releases that energy through the volcanoes, tornados, hurricanes, all sorts of nutty shit. The only thing we release as men is*splooj noise* is fucking jizzms. You know, we're just fucking sperm sacks. We don't create anything, they do. Maybe that's why they've been bestowed with the magical power of tears. For like 99% of people. There's always somebody that's going to be better off than you and somebody worse off than you, and you know what? Some people think that sucks, but it's actually great. You're chilling in the middle man. The extremes aren't good. If there is nobody better off than you, then you're just way too fucking rich and that shit's weird. It's isolating. You're lonely. You can't relate to anybody, and that's a cliff on one side you're trying to jump off of and if you're on the opposite end of the spectrum and there's nobody worse off than you, that sucks too. I mean that's just the definition of life sucking and there's a cliff there too. You just want to be in the middle of man. There's nothing wrong with mediocrity. The middle's great, tons of people who are just like you average. It's a lot harder to be lonely in that situation and a lot fewer cliffs in sight. When you call somebody down to earth or grounded, there's a reason why they say that. It's because you've got gotta have a balance of experiences to help you keep your feet on the ground. If everything is always positive and good all the time, you start to get your head in the clouds and have a distorted perception of reality. You're not down to earth, you're in the fucking sky, my friend. It's negative experiences that keep our feet on the ground, and keep us level headed. If things are too negative, obviously you're fucking buried in the ground and aint moving nowhere. You got to have a healthy balance of both, you know, so you can just keep walking and work with gravity because those wings are not always good things. People always want to know the secret to doing things. The key, the shortcut, basically. I don't know. I don't know what that is. I don't think anyone really knows, but I know what it's not. Now what it's not is overthinking and stressing out. I mean, look at anybody who's really good at what they're doing. They are somehow call in stressful situations. Look at professional basketball players. Kobe. Somehow the game's on the line, on his shoulders and he looks like he's calm. That doesn't make any sense. Musicians on stage in front of thousands of people looks like they're not even trying, and what they're doing sounds amazing. Counter intuitive. Doesn't make sense. How can you be relaxed when you should be stressed. Well, as cheesy and obvious as it sounds, its practice. You do something enough, you get sick of it, right? Too many times and you're like, I don't want to do this shit anymore. It's boring. It doesn't make you feel anything. Well, that lack of emotion can be used as a weapon. It calms the nerves. If you do it enough times, you know it like the back of your hand, it's easy. And I would argue that that's kind of the secret. Obviously everyone knows that it's practice, but at the same time it's not the secret because nobody wants to practice. Nobody wants to put the work in to get the job done, and that's all it really comes down to. There's no secrets. There's no shortcut, and as counterintuitive as it sounds as well, not giving a fuck is how you win. It's by practicing so much that when you're doing the thing, you feel nothing. By practicing so much that you can genuinely and honestly not give any fucks while performing at the highest level. Maybe that's what it is. That's definitely the secret, but there's no shortcut that everyone wishes there would be. It's just hard work bitches. So get off your lazy ass. Man, before we had kids, my wife and I talked about how many we wanted and I was like, let's have 10. That way, at least one will be awesome. Well, we had a kid and she's the best, so now I'm fucked. Just about everything in our lives is handed down this delicate balance. Being in the middle where it's nice and not on the extremes where it sucks. I mean, look at us. We live on the surface of the earth. Underneath it's molten lava. Out in space, there is no air and it's a bunch of meteors and shit flying around. We gotta be here where it's nice and even here there are places where it's better and where it's worse, where the climate's nicer, and where the climate sucks. Even in our own minds and our own stomachs and our actions and our words, there's always a middle of balance and then two extremes. I've been thinking a lot lately about that and about how everything as we know it about earth can just completely go away. If some crazy shit happens, like a super volcano or comet, that delicate balance that we need will be gone instantly and everything will be dead. Honestly, the greatest blessing is to wake up with air into your lungs in a climate that's not too uncomfortable. There isn't anything better than that, yet, it's one of the things that just about everyone, every day, takes for granted. Thank you so much for listening. This episode was brought to you by the Swedish heavy metal band Meshuggah. This song is playing right now, one of their many songs of course. And this band has had an insane impact on me creatively throughout my entire life. During the darkest moments of my life. I listened to their music and played the drums, learned how to play a bunch of their songs and it snapped me out of so many funks that I was in. I have nothing but thanks to them and without them, none of this that I'm doing would be possible, so a huge thank you to those guys. Anyway, you can find my artwork on Instagram at Apricot Jams. I also stream on twitch and I'm finally getting my youtube channel back in order so you can check that out soon too. Woo. I cannot believe we're almost done with season four guys. This is crazy, but I'm very excited to see what the future holds. See you guys later.
