Capitol Poonishment

00:00 Babies hate podcasts • 
00:23 Reverse motivation • 
01:16 Stupid is good • 
02:34 Capital Pewnishment • 
03:10 God • 
04:06 Stupid brain • 
04:44 Adaptation • 
06:02 Surprise kill vanish • 
06:46 Collective energy • 
08:13 Insane obsession • 
09:22 23 and maybe • 
10:08 Mitch Hedberg • • 

Featured Music: 
Minnesota - Stardust Redux (Perkulat0r Remix) •  
Alan Watts - Mr. Jazz • 
Manic Focus - Your X Now (Feat. Exmag and Borahm Lee) • 
Derlee - Off The Beat'n Path (Daily Bread Remix) • 
Thrupence - Stop Using Logic • 
Cal Tjader - Nica's Dream • 
CharlesTheFirst - Step:Time • 
Abakus - Liberated From The Negative • 
Haywyre - Mindchamber • 
Will Sessions - Life's a Bitch • • • 

Drawings: 
https://www.instagram.com/apriccot.art • 

Video Games: 
https://www.twitch.tv/apricccot • 

Videos:
https://www.youtube.com/apriccot •

Published: May 22, 2019 (2019-05-22) • 
Remixed: June 21, 2019 (2019-06-21) • 
Software: Adobe Audition •  

www.apricotjamspodcast.com 
© 2019 Apricot Jams. All rights reserved.

Chapters

• 0:00 Babies hate podcasts
• 0:23 Reverse motivation
• 1:16 Stupid is good
• 2:34 Capital Poonisher
• 3:10 God
• 4:06 Stupid brain
• 4:44 Adaptation
• 6:02 Surprise kill vanish
• 6:46 Collective energy
• 8:13 Insane obsession
• 9:22 23 and maybe
• 10:08 Mitch Hedberg

Transcript

Zareh: 0:05

My one year old hates podcasts, she would always much rather have music on when I put it on. I can tell, she's kind of just like, come on mannnn. Yeah, and I get it, if you don't know what words mean, it's just a bunch of people going by blah blah blah blah. It's a just a bunch of Yodas mumbling it up. It's almost impossible to know what you'e gonna want 20 years from now. So when people say"figure out what you want and chase your dreams" well, it takes a long time to chase things, decades sometimes, and by the time you' done chasing you don't know if you'll still want that thing. So just avoid things you don't like, it's a better strategy, I do it all the time. I brush my teeth because I don't want to go to the dentist, I do this art thing because I don't want to work in an office. I know the stuff I don't want and I just avoid them, then things sort of just move in the right direction. It's a lot easier than trying to be a fortune teller. Are tall people better than short people? No. Are quick people better than slow people? No. Are smart people better than dumb people? No, they're not. They're just different. That's it. There are plenty of things that's dumb people are better at than smart people. But as a society, it's just accepted that intelligence is this fucking grace and gift. I mean it is, it's nice, it's nice to be smart, but people who aren't smart shouldn't be made to feel like completely fucking useless humans. They're good at stuff too, and there's plenty of uses for us in society. I mean, who else is gonna fly those crazy ass squirrel suits through the mountains at a million miles per hour? Who else is gonna chase their dreams for the off chance that they make it big and become famous, grinding through the days with no progress, just pain and embarrassment. Only one kind of person, the dumb dumbs:).

: 2:55

Rape is such a terrible thing. Horrible. The people that do this kind of stuff deserve the worst, and what is the worst thing that you could do to a rapist? I dunno, probably rape em. Although they'll probably enjoy it. I wouldn't be surprised if rapists enjoy being raped, but I mean, how do you even get that job of the capital poonisher, the rapist raper.

Zareh: 3:03

There's something indescribably beautiful about watching someone in their creative flow. Whether it's a dancer moving to the music, musicians jamming and creating music, lyricists freestyling, an artist painting. There's something to it, to that creative energy, to that flow, when in that zone that meditative state. It's true beauty. Tapping into that is what I think God truly is. Not what's in those dusty books, that guy in the sky, but instead it's this creative flow that connects as humans. It doesn't push us apart. Everybody want's to create, I don't care who you are, in one way or another you do, and anyone can do it, that's the beauty. With enough love, practice and time, you got it. Normally I don't really mind being stupid. But every now and then it gets annoying. Like when I'm in a situation when I should feel bad about what's going on around me, but I don't, and I'm cool with that, cuz it's hard enough being happy. But then my brain comes in and goes"wait a second, you don't feel bad about this? Here, man, let me help you out, have some guilt." And then all the sudden I feel bad, because I didn't feel bad. Stupid brain. The human mind and body are amazing at adapting to things that are thrown at us. It's amazing, but it can backfire. I work hard all week doing my thing, and my mind and body adapt to that state. But once the weekend comes around, I can't relax and turn it off. Not without a couple beers at least. Adaptation can be a bitch. And psychological disorders, dude, thats how the mind adapts to horrible, abusive environments. But once you adapt to that and try going back into regular society, you kind of feel like a wierdo. You adapt to the cold, heat sucks. Adapt to the heat, cold sucks. It's like the same thing that helps us survive, kind of makes us miserable. So I just finished listening to this lady talking about how the US government apparently has assassins across the entire world, just chilling and waiting for the command to start assassinating fools, and at first I was like, girl are you crazy? Talking about this shit on the air you're about to get your own ass assassinated. But then I was like nah she's fine, the government wants people to know this. It's just good PR. Think about it, if you know I have assassins in your country, you're a lot less likely to fuck with me. There's a magic that happens whenever a lot of humans get together in one place and are all there for one thing. There's an energy thats indescribable but it's pretty fucking magical. Whether it's religious, a concert, a movie, a game night, a party. It doesn't matter. It's like collectively all the electricity in our bodies exponentially intensifies, it's weird but it's amazing, and it's something that everyone across the entire world understands. You go anywhere and there's something to the collective gathering that people just inherently understand and feel. Some people rebel against it and hate but those people are everywhere. Anything you get, there's always someone that hates it but the majority just get it. Any human with a heart and mind can feel the magic of being at a concert, staring at the band and feeling the vibe. Being at a religious gathering and everyone praying together and doing something together. There's a unity, a magic, you can't really put it into words but as long as you open yourself up to it, the feeling is undeniable. Sometimes the amount of social isolation required to become insanely good at something or insanely successful, makes us insane. I got a taste of it when I was twitch streaming, alone in a room staring at a screen for 8-12 hours a day. Yea there's chat but there's no one really there. I think there's a physical energy to humans, a look in the eyes, and all of that is food for us, for our mind for our soul, and when it's not there we start to starve. Thats why i feel bad for successful people who isolate themselves from humans. It's just not good and you don't realize until you're out of it, becuase we adapt and stay sane somehow but it's impossible to know how bad it is unless you're not in it, and if you're stuck in it for financial reasons, well, god help you. I absolutely love this 23 and me thing and the data it proves, as long as insurance companies don't start fucking people for it, it's an amazing thing. I love seeing what I'm mixed with, what people of my ethnicity are mixed with, but there's always this voice in the back of my head going"how hard is it to guess?" I mean if i knew someones name, their ethnicity, a picture of them, how hard would it be to just collect their money and just guess? What if 23 and me is just a bunch of really smart people who are good at kinda figuring out what you might be, and how stupid do i sound right now. Thank you so much for listening. That concludes Season 4 of Apricot Jams. This episode was brought to you by Mitch Hedberg because I would never have gotten into comedy, I mean, I might have some day, but he was the first comedian that really, really made me laugh out loud. One of my buddies just had his CD and we sat in the car on the drive home and I was laughing the whole way. Thank you. Mitch. Rip, miss you buddy. Um, what else? Oh yeah, you can find my art on Instagram. I'm gonna be putting more videos on youtube soon. I twitch stream league of legends sometimes, and that is all. I am so excited and happy that season four is done. I can relax for a little bit and come back strong with season five. I can't even believe we've gone through 40 episodes of these, it's nutso sauce, but it's flowing. It's working and I'm going to keep going as long as people keep listening. Much love. Thank you so much, and I'll see you guys soon.